“My research has shown me that when emotions are expressed–which is to say that the biochemicals that are the substrate of emotion are flowing freely–all systems are united and made whole.
When emotions are repressed, denied, not allowed to be whatever they may be, our network pathways get blocked, stopping the flow of the vital feel-good, unifying chemicals that run both our biology and our behavior.”
Dr. Candace B. Pert
Dealing with Emotions?
One of the most valuable aspects of the human experience is to experience emotions. As Soul or in Spirit we are unable to do that, so that’s one of the reasons why we incarnate on Planet Earth where we can experience what can sometimes be a bewildering array of emotions in the situations that we draw into our lives.
Yet, there are many points of views in our world that suggest emotions should be repressed in some way. Some cultures and ways of upbringing (in the UK for example) have encouraged beliefs and limitations like “keep a stiff upper lip” and suggesting that dealing with emotions is something that should be subdued instead of allowed.
For men in many different cultures, expectations are that they should conform almost to a “machismo” patterns and so displays of emotions are seen as a sign of weakness…“men don’t cry” develops as a limiting belief …so a substantial percentage of the world’s population in denial of their emotions, and then we wonder why we have had several thousand years or war on the planet!!
There are even some therapy modalities that suggest that emotion reactions should be glossed over, or even avoided where possible or in therapeutic speak, that abreactions or catharsis are to be avoided.
However, emotions are here to be experienced and thus allowed and processed. The very nature of the word to me is “e-motion” i.e. it means energy in motion and therefore the energy should flow, and hopefully in an appropriate way.
The much heralded work of Candace Pert and other neuroscientists reveals how our emotions (and thoughts) affect our health and well-being, and the simple reality is that when our emotions are stuck, then there is an imbalance in the energy system, which will often result in dis-ease or illness. Experts and writers on emotional intelligence such as Daniel Goleman in “Emotional Intelligence” have brought to light insights how emotional processing determine our success in relationships, work, and our physical well-being.
This is potentially a big subject and I am simplifying it because I intend to write about some solutions rather than the problems.
When we have unprocessed emotions, it often means that we don’t have closure to a situation, relationship etc. and so we need to work out how to get closure.
Regression therapy is the most singularly powerful way of doing so that I have witnessed or experienced, for it goes to the source of the original issue (wherever that is in the Journey of the Soul) and enables a release, a reframing and a new perspective to be gleaned. However it isn’t within everyone’s reach…
So, over the next couple of months I will be offering a couple of simpler (and free) solutions for dealing with emotions. And today I start off with a simple, but very healing technique.
Letter Writing for Dealing with Emotions
‘Equipment Needed’
- 2 pens (in case one runs out halfway through)
- Several sheets of paper (avoid using a journal or diary)
- Box of tissues
- Cushion or pillow
- 1 large metal pan or sink
- Box of matches or lighter
One of the simplest devices to release emotions safely is to write a letter. For this you sit down and calmly focus on the person(s), situation(s) or memories which have upset you in the past or are doing so now.
You may have more than one upset prominent in your life at the moment, or you may have a list of “grievances” against a particular person or situation. If so, then make a list of them. Avoid editing anything that you feel the need to write down, even if it might appear pretty small and silly, for then you to start to judge yourself and end up limiting what you can achieve from the process.
When you have list, then prioritise them and see which one seems to be the most important. If necessary, remember to include yourself, God or the Universe (or whatever your belief system) or whoever you feel is responsible for your current predicament.
Then start writing a letter to the number one on your list, expressing everything that you need to say. Avoid editing anything and if you feel the urge to write as fast and furiously as you possibly can, then just do it and get into the energy of it (and in doing so get the energy out of you). Carry on writing, express everything you need to say and avoid editing anything at all (this last bit is very important). Often the more aggressive and explosive the words are the more effective the off-loading is.
During the writing you may well become emotional. If there is the need to cry then do it (always have a box of tissues handy for this exercise); if you feel angry, then beat the living daylights out of a cushion or pillow or start shouting (assuming circumstances permit)
Remember to continue writing after the emotional release.
As you are writing, you may find the person or subject matter may change, and you may even move through your list. That happens, so continue writing with your own flow as all interlinked memories and emotions will be accessed this way.
Once you feel that it is finished for the moment, read the letter and destroy it immediately. The act of destruction of whatever has come up is extremely important. Remember you are releasing the energy from you; and not trying to hurt anyone else. I recommend burning the letter in a safe place, perhaps in a sink or large pan.
If you decide to write it on a lap top or pc, that’s fine, however make sure you print out the letter, read the print out and then destroy the print out. Also delete the file off your pc.
Please never ever send these letters to another person.
Leave it for a day or two and you may get a feeling that you want to write another letter summarizing more emotions and thoughts of what you have written or perhaps write another letter altogether. This is extremely effective so trust the process.
Happy letter writing !!
Love & blessings
Doug
