You’ll Never Know!
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”
One of the great things about life is it presents you with a series of moments, let’s call them opportunities, where you have a choice to have a certain experience or set of experiences, or not! On the whole, life will offer you a similar set of choices that recur on a reasonably regular basis and let’s call that daily life. Perhaps choices to shower in the morning or not, what to have for breakfast, what route to take into work etc. etc. litter your daily life. Most humans are fairly unconscious in their choices, and so you often make daily choices that are the same and when these are reasonably established we call it your daily routine (or similar). These are survival choices, and survival choices will then fill your consciousness, helping to reinforce your limitations, make it more difficult for you to initiate changes and so determine how you live your life…!!!
Thriving, as opposed to surviving, is often about how you overcome your unconscious programming to break free of your limitations, make different choices and end up doing something different and growing/developing instead. However, the reality is that for most humans it is difficult to make change, and there are a few reasons for that. Many of those reasons are tightly interwoven with each other, though I have condensed them down into the following themes that are briefly explored here:
- Fear of failure
- Low self-esteem / Low expectations of self
- Negative self-talk
We live in a society where ‘failure’ is openly ridiculed in our media and people are often labelled as ‘losers’, and strangely that is deemed to be acceptable by almost everybody. Consequently, many people find it easier to avoid taking action and making changes, and so they also avoid the possibility of failure and being labelled accordingly by others, and equally relevantly by themselves.
However, the reality is that when you take no action and don’t try and make changes, then you are likely to remain unfulfilled and drift along in a (probably) satisfactory, surviving type life. Is that acceptable to you?
If not, you could reframe failure in your own head, and instead see it as an opportunity to learn, or a stepping stone to change success. If you can see failure as an inevitable part of the change process, then you have nothing to fear from it. In fact, you embrace it, learn from it and move on towards your goal.
Low expectations of self and low self-esteem also prevent people from making changes. Most people constantly underestimate their own ability to succeed and undermine their own resources by what they say to themselves (point #3). This often results in procrastination. Twenty years ago, I used to think of procrastinators as being unproductive or simply lazy, but actually they aren’t. What procrastinators have is unhelpful ‘thought-to-action structures’ in place which lead to unwanted decisions and actions that delay them getting where they want to want.
Procrastinators are sometimes busy people; busy tidying or cleaning their home, doing extra hours at work, with a really active social life etc. All of those things are great…to a point. And the point is when it’s stopping you making the changes you want so you can thrive in your life, and then it means “something else” is going on. Often procrastinators will tell you they do things in their own time, or that they are a last minute person, or something akin to that, and again that’s indicative of that “something else” going on….it’s a problem called unconscious avoidance.
Unconscious avoidance is common in almost everybody; the trick is to identify both it and the cause of it, and often the cause of it is the final theme, which is negative self-talk, which of course relates back to low self-esteem and expectations of self. Back in my Jan 2016 Newsletter I looked at this and released a Life Enhancing mp3 “My Glass is More Than Half-Full” to help with it. Self-talk is a massive issue, and how you use it, either for your development, or for your stuckness, determines how you approach a lot of the choices you have open to you in life.
Really simple examples are when you find yourself thinking/saying a lot of negative words or phrases like “should” or “shouldn’t”, “must” or “mustn’t” and the like, then you are subconsciously putting pressure on yourself and likely deflating your motivation and self-esteem in the process.
Example: which is likely to give you the most positive outcome when you are seeking to make changes
- “I really should make that….positive change”
- “I would love to make that….positive change
So, if you are looking to move yourself into a live where you thrive rather than survive, be mindful of these points and most importantly remember the real biggie…
You get one life – and if you don’t try “You’ll never know”
Even as a firm believer in reincarnation, and rememberer of some of my past lives, I know full well that I will not be back here in this body and in this same time frame…unless there’s some huge cosmic joke that we’re all missing.
Likewise, your Soul has chosen to incarnate at this time in history for a reason, and for the vast of majority people reading this and similar newsletters, that reason is unlikely to be to any version of the same old song whether that’s “do nothing”, “stay safe” “continue as you are” or anything of similar resonance. You are here to thrive!!
You are here because this is a time of opportunity – whether you are here for your personal journey, global change or a bit of both. Don’t miss the boat because you’d like to “play small”
Thrive – in whatever way that relates to you!!
Otherwise, “You’ll never know!!”