Don’t Make Assumptions
One of my favourite books along my Soul journey through life has been the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. As well as “devouring” it myself, I have also recommended it, given it away and lent my own copy(s) to a bunch of people. Much more than just a book, it is an invitation, or even initiation, into a deeper level understanding of the self with which you can transform your life when you are able to live the powerful ideas that are highlighted in the book.
Whilst running a Hypnosis course recently, I talked about and was reminded of it several times, so I looked for the copy which I assumed I still had somewhere, so that I could go into the depths of it once more.
When that turned out to be a false assumption then I ended up buying it again online. With that learning in heart, and as the third of the four agreements is “Don’t Make Assumptions”, I thought I’d write a little more about that particular topic here.
Ruiz writes: “We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real.
“We even make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking — we take it personally — then we blame them and react … That is why when we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally and we end up creating a drama for nothing.”
The author talks about the way to keep yourself from making assumptions being to ask questions. He says when you don’t understand, then ask. Simple, huh!! And then he says to have the courage to keep on asking questions until you are as clear as clear can be. After all, they key to relationships with others is having clear communication with them, so that you can avoid misunderstanding and subsequent dramas with them.
Taking this a step further, we also make assumptions about ourselves. Perhaps they are direct assumptions, in the sense of “This xxxxx is the way I am” or they can be assumptions that we buy into from the collective “this xxxxx is how life is….”
These all usually result in limitations that we place on our self, on the ways in which we live on our life and on life itself, and effectively act as Stop signs in our consciousness. Just as Ruiz says about how to change assumptions about others, the key with our selves is also to ask questions, rather than assume. This can be in everyday consciousness, or even in Meditation, or perhaps through reflection or journaling. Whatever you do though, ask them!
One way of philosophically thinking about life is that life isn’t anything in particular. You can assume it is “this” or perhaps “that”, or you can be open and curious about it, and ask questions of yourself and others. The latter way of being is infinitely brighter, lighter and altogether more enjoyable.
To remind you of an old cliché you may already know…ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME.
So, Don’t Make Assumptions