Feeling Stuck

Feeling Stuck  

 “Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.” Eckhart Tolle


There comes a point (or points) in most people’s Journey through life when they may be feeling stuck in some way, perhaps in a relationship, a job or an another circumstance that has become a “bad fit”. Depending who you are, decisions to simply move on in those type of scenarios can be do-able, perhaps with your own inner resources or with the support of loved ones or professional help.

Sometimes though that stuck feeling can run deeper, perhaps in one of the scenarios above, and/or as a generalized feeling of stuckness that can permeate your whole life, maybe unsure how to move forward or simply lost in life. It can be paralyzing, resulting in inactivity and commonly with spiritual types may manifest even in a form of spiritual depression.

It’s important to remember that being stuck is primarily a feeling. The nature of the word suggest an inability to move, which is a body-based activity, and so it is kinaesthetic or feeling at its core. There can of course be thoughts and attached to the stuckness, however it is primarily a resonance within the body.

What this invariably means is that something has not been processed in the past and has been repressed within the emotions (which have a physical correspondence). Society has taught us to be like this, avoiding difficult emotions that we are told as kids “shouldn’t” be expressed. So we learn how to manage our difficult feelings, burying them in the depths of our being causing eventual stuckness or depression.

You could trying talking it out in some ways, with friends or with therapy, though that could be a long route. Likewise, trying to “spiritualise” it in some way without getting into the depths of it can take a while, and may seem like you have to work through countless layers of it. Medication might bring short-term balance, yet it’s unlikely to solve a longer-term problem. Realistically you need to get back into the feeling of the situation in order to liberate the feeling energy that has become stuck.

I frequently work with catharsis (or emotional release) and with what we refer to as body memories (frozen emotional energy) in Regression Therapy whether that’s from past or current lives, and the results when it’s liberated can be phenomenal. That’s because we get into both the source and the actual feeling of the stuckness. The resolution comes from getting into the painful feeling and then accepting it, rather than repressing it. The re-experience doesn’t have to be a total revivification; it does need to be real though.

There are other ways to do it too. Body-centred psychotherapy and any practice with that gets us out of the head and in touch with the body and the emotions work nicely. Interestingly sound can work really well too, with the right intention, as the vibrations of the sound can often take you deep into feeling experiences.

And a friend reminded me last weekend of something that Elizabeth Gilbert mentioned in her book “Eat, Pray Love”. She dealt with her sorrow, then her anger and then her shame with a straight-forward practice …

“In meditation….One by one, the thoughts and memories of sadness raised their hand, and stood up to identify themselves. I looked at each thought, at each sorrow it turn, and acknowledged its existence and then felt its horrible pain (without trying to protect myself from it). Then I would tell that sorrow, “It’s ok. I love you. I accept you. Come into my heart. It’s over now. Then it would feel that sorrow (as if it were a living thing) enter my heart (as I it were an actual room).I did this with every bit of sorrow I had ever had…”

 Try it the next time you are feeling stuck; it truly works wonder if you are able to allow yourself to go genuinely into it. As the saying goes, “The feel is for real”. That’s how we release and move on when we are stuck.

Love & gratitude